This post is because of one of my students. It seems she got her death date checked and found out how many years she is going to live and what she is going to be when she reincarnates. It seems she is going to be an okapi in her next birth. She wanted me to find out when I’ll die and what I’ll be if I am lucky enough to be born again. According to Death Date, the site from where my student found out all these key information about her future, I have only 731911079 seconds left to live and still counting down. In years and months, I have 23 years, 2 months and 9 days left to live! And you know what, I’ll be an ostrich when I am born next.
Ostrich is such a dumb bird and I will never want to be that if the Man up there wants me to come back a second time to earth. The last time I went to Black Thunder, the chlorine smelling and the most unimaginatively designed Water Theme Park in Tamilnadu, I saw this bird. I am not sure if it was an Emu or an Ostrich. But I know it really really looked dumb. And oh my God, to think of all those stories about the stupid ostrich that buries its head in the sand every time it comes across an enemy! Troubled by the thought of becoming one among the dumbest birds ever to walk on earth next time, I set out to see if there is some way I can change what is going to be.
Things I found out were not very comforting. People with a religious bent of mind scared the hell out of me with stories about heaven and hell. Different religions decide who goes to heaven or hell based on different criteria. That is, the thing you do that takes you to heaven according to one religion may end you up in hell according to another. And it is better if I don’t talk about reincarnation at all. The one or two religions that talk a bit about reincarnation give me the freedom to chose what I’ll be next time based on what I do with my life now. Sadly, none of them tell me what exactly to do to become what. I wish any of them could tell me what to do not to become an ostrich.
Unfortunately, these parapsychologists too, though you expect them to be a little more smarter than priests, got different but not very convincing stories to tell about life after death. Stories from people who came back to life after death. The thing is, all of them differ based on the belief system of the people who described their near death experiences. Some of them became the double of their physical self who could see what was happening around them. Some of them passed through a dark tunnel towards a source of light. Some of them saw two angels coming over and carrying them across the street. Some of them saw their dead relatives in white dress descending to welcome them to the other world.
I also found out that most of these people who claimed to have experienced heaven, experienced it the way they wanted heaven to be. For example, a musician experienced heaven or what ever that was he was taken to as a place filled with music. I read about a woman who experienced heaven as a place full of flowers. I remembered the squirrel in Ice Age, the animated film, who dies and goes to a heaven full of walnuts. But do not think that I am satisfied with the explanation parapsychologists provide me. Beautiful and fancying the idea of death presented by parapsychologists may seem, it bothers me further because they do not address my ostrich issue. They don’t tell me how I can not become that bird.
However, they give me a freedom that religion does not give me. They give me a freedom to interpret my death and afterlife the way I want to. If they can accept these hundreds of tales people tell them about death , they can accept my theory of death as well. So to avoid the humiliation of becoming an ostrich next time I am born, I here by propose my theory of my death. I hereby declare that I am suppose to die like a light bulb blows out, glimmer once and I am gone! No doubles. No dead relatives. No black tunnel with a light at the end. No angels to carry me across the street. And no heaven and hell I need to bother about. And no ostrich friends in next life. I would like to die and be like I am in that deep state of sleep, knowing nothing. Otherwise, I better be born as a human being in my next life too. Let the Man up there make his choice!
Off the Topic
I would like to thank Priyan for considering me a friend and giving me this award.
I would like to give away this award to a few people whom I like reading: Aativas, Pramoda, Ajay Nair, Pra, Vipul, Swapna